What do you do when you realize that you are not in control?
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As human beings, we have a fundamental desire for certainty and control.
Studies actually show that the more in control we feel about achieving the outcomes we desire, the better our well-being.
We like to believe we are in control because if we are not in control of our lives, then someone else is. This next study is very sad (and I believe, even cruel) but really proves how important having some sort of control in our lives is: In this study of a home for older adults, researchers gave the members of one group control over which plant to grow in their room and which movies they could watch. The other group was denied that control. In the 18 months that followed, the death rate of the second group was double that of the first. 
We really don’t like to feel as though we are being controlled and when we control others, it generally creates conflict. What’s more, trying to overly control outcomes of which we may not have any control at all, sets you up for disappointment, sometimes depression and can even increase your Blood Pressure. 
The desire to control outcomes lowers happiness. When we want to control something so badly, we are likely to sacrifice other things that make us happy. As we have seen, it can negatively impact our physical and emotional health but it can also negatively impact our relationships.
So how do we let go of this incessant need to control every aspect of our lives? We realize that there are somethings we can control and there are some things that we absolutely cannot control. We do our best and then we leave it in God’s hands. And we trust. But it is so hard to do.
My mom used to always say “Let Go and Let God” and then she would proceed to worry herself silly but she tried and that is really all we can do. I try very hard to surrender to God but it is soooo hard. In fact, I got the idea for this post today because I am feeling especially sorry for myself and thinking that I have no control over one particular aspect of my life. But I will keep on trying.
I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer:
God Grant Me the Serenity to
Accept the Things I Cannot Change,
To Change the Things I Can,
And the Wisdom to Know the Difference. 
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